


Breathing Underwater

by allofspace



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofspace/pseuds/allofspace
Summary: AU inspired by Metric's "Breathing Underwater". Rodney is on a vacation with John, but things aren't as they seem.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 15
Kudos: 76





	Breathing Underwater

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @popkin16 for being my post-publish beta and always the biggest mcshep fan!!

Rodney woke up gradually. He could feel warmth radiating around him, then flexing his toes, he felt the soft, hot sand. Finally, he opened his eyes expecting to be blinded by sun, but instead he found himself mostly protected by a large sun umbrella. The smell of the salt water spray was so strong he could practically taste it. 

His mind felt a little fuzzy. Where was he again? He began to survey his surroundings. To the left there was an empty chair matching the one he was sitting in with an umbrella covering it, there were children building sandcastles, a group of women sunbathing with big floppy hats, and servers carrying trays of drinks to and fro. 

To his right… oh. 

John was to his right, lying on a towel on the sun. A relaxed smile graced John’s lips and Rodney was pretty sure he was asleep behind those aviators. 

They were on their honeymoon, Rodney remembered suddenly. How had he forgotten? Well, most of their relationship had felt pretty surreal so it actually sort of made sense. The vows had been sappier than anyone expected, except for maybe John who had been the only one to know how deeply and stupidly in love Rodney was with him. Well now 200 friends, family, and colleagues knew too.

Unlike Rodney, John was bathing in the full sunlight with no umbrella. He looked like a bronze Adonis with just the slightest hint of reddening on the tips of his nose and stupid pointy ears.

“Can I get you guys another drink?” A pleasant voice said out of nowhere. 

Rodney turned to the small girl wearing a resort uniform and holding a tray at her side. 

“Just some water,” John said with a gravelly voice. 

The girl nodded, picked up an empty glass from the ground beside Rodney, and left. 

“We went a little overboard with the mojitos this morning don’t you think?”

Mojitos, yes, that’s right (“hold the lime please, are you trying to kill me?”).

“Yeah,” Rodney said suddenly parched. Water was a good idea.

John got up slowly and swaggered over to Rodney. John’s lips were cracked and dry, but Rodney still couldn’t help but cherish the small kiss he placed on Rodney’s mouth. 

He collapsed into the beach chair under the shade of the umbrella and sighed. “I think I have heat stroke.”

Rodney scoffed. “Serves you right for sitting out there and baking yourself.”

John just laughed lightly. “I love you.”

“I—“ the words got stuck in Rodney’s throat, like he’d never said them before. “I love you too,” Rodney said forcefully, practically pushing the words out of his mouth. “Like… a lot.”

John looked at him, lifting his sunglasses so he could scrutinize Rodney better and Rodney could see his arched eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Rodney sighed. “Where are those waters?” He was probably just dehydrated.

“You know… if we get sick of the sun, there’s nothing wrong with honeymooners shacking themselves up in their hotel room all day.” John wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Rodney couldn’t help but laugh at that. “You just want to watch bad rom-coms and order room service.”

“Well, yeah, but you know, in between the other stuff,” John said with a grin. 

Rodney laughed again, feeling lighter. And then the water finally came, which had him feeling a lot better.

They went for lunch at one of the resort’s small restaurants. There were enough little cafes like this scattered around they could eat at a different place every meal for their whole 2-week vacation. 

The food was delicious and Rodney moaned inappropriately far too much throughout the meal for John to handle. 

They walked back to their room lazily, soaking up the sun even after the morning’s dehydration. Rodney could still remember how cold it had been in Toronto when they left. He wouldn’t actually get sick of the heat any time soon. 

The maids had cleaned their room, leaving an assortment of expensive looking chocolates and rose petals on the bed and a tub of ice and champagne on the desk. 

Rodney would have usually wanted to try the chocolates and see if they were up to snuff, but John’s hands were running up and down his body, and then there were kisses being placed on his neck and shoulders and his shirt was being taken off. Rodney practically threw the chocolates off the bed so he could lay down and pull John on top of him.

They went slow, having already christened the bed the night before when they’d arrived. It was hot and sweet and still had Rodney gasping by the end of it. 

John collapsed into the bed. “We should shower. I’ve got sand in weird places.”

Rodney laughed. “You go right ahead,” he said as he turned on the TV. “I’m gonna find something to watch that is not a rom-com.”

“Aww, Rodney,” John pouted. 

Rodney rolled his eyes. “I’ll see what’s on.”

John grinned and headed for the bathroom. When he was finished, he looked much more energized, while Rodney was practically on the verge of another nap. 

“I was thinking I’ll go downstairs and get that list of activities they were talking about when we got here yesterday. Even if we don’t do any of them, at least we can look at the options.”

“Sure,” Rodney said, half asleep. “Come back soon. Bring snacks.”

John pressed a kiss to his cheek and left the room. Rodney considered getting up to take a shower. He would… in a couple more minutes.

~*~

Lorne and his team came running through the gate, and John had never been happier to see them.

“Where are they holding Dr. McKay?” Lorne asked. 

“This way,” John said, taking the lead. Teyla and Ronon followed directly behind him, and then Lorne’s team. With their manpower and weapons, the village leader would have no choice but to give Rodney back.

Everything had gone south when Rodney discovered that the village ‘sacrificed’ people to power their electric grid. The generators were hooked up to stasis pods where they’d trap people, inducing some sort of coma, and basically suck up their life force and use it as an energy source. Practically a mechanical wraith, only the process is actually slower and keeps the person alive for longer, to draw out their power.

It had all happened so fast, and John didn’t even realize Rodney was missing until it was too late. But he couldn’t think about that now, as he was marching the village leader down to the hidden room where they kept the stasis pods.

There were six pods total, but only one was in use.

John could see Rodney’s face through a small circular window into the pod. Rodney looked peaceful, and the idea of that was unsettling to John for some reason. 

“Get him out,” John demanded.

“I can’t do that,” the leader, Farrin said.

Ronon growled, taking a step forward. John put a hand out to stop him, sensing there was more than just defiance to his remark.

“Why?” John asked. 

“People aren’t meant to come out. There is no off switch.”

John looked around the pod. “I’ll just unplug it then,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“That would kill him,” Farrin said nonchalantly.

This guy was really starting to piss John off. He gritted his teeth as he spoke, trying to keep calm. “There must be some way.”

“Well…” Farrin started. “There is one thing. Dr. McKay simply has to decide to leave.”

“From what McKay said before you… took him,” Teyla chimed in. “He’s in some sort of advanced simulation. He would have no idea there was somewhere to leave from.”

“Yes, well, there is that challenge,” Farrin agreed.

John practically snarled and Farrin was quick to add something more. 

“We can join the pods, however. If someone were to go into one of these pods, they would be linked into Dr. McKay’s simulation, and could try to convince him to leave,” Farrin explained. 

John watched the village leader with suspicion. “I’ll do it,” he said anyway. 

“John,” Teyla said, reaching out to grab John’s arm. “You can’t trust him. They could end up keeping you both here.”

“I can’t just leave Rodney in there,” John said quietly. He didn’t need Lorne and his team hearing the hint of desperation in his voice. He was practically pleading with Teyla to understand the deeper meaning. There was no way John would leave without Rodney so it didn’t exactly matter if this didn’t work.

“If they’ve lied, you have to find another way. Unplug the machines, maybe it won’t kill us. Or if it does, make sure they can’t use them anymore.”

Teyla stared into his eyes, and John knew she wanted to fight him on this. But then her eyes softened, and her hand fell away from John’s arm. 

Ronon watched with vague interest. He didn’t protest either, and so Lorne gave John a nod as well. 

“I’ll remember all this? What I’m trying to do when I get there?” John asked. 

“Yes,” Farrin said. “Usually we take steps to affect the subject’s memories. We will skip that.”

John gulped again, wondering what sort of side effects there might be even if they get Rodney back. What if he has some sort of permanent brain damage or memory loss?

“Dr. McKay will know you as the John in the world he has dreamed up. You will simply take that John’s place. Or if you’re not in his world, you will suddenly exist but he will not know you,” Farrin explained as he readied the pod next to Rodney’s.

John stepped into the stasis pod, feeling uneasy at Farrin’s words. He met Teyla’s eyes once again. The worry he saw in her face did nothing to comfort him. 

“There’s one more thing,” Farrin said. 

John rolled his eyes. This guy was never done playing games. “What?” John asked, annoyed more than anything. 

“The simulation… it’s not just random. It’s a simulation of the subject’s paradise. Good luck convincing your doctor to leave,” Farrin said with a smirk.

John’s heart fell to the bottom of his stomach. It doesn’t change anything, but it might just make his task more difficult. He looked back at Teyla and found she was smirking now.

“I have faith in you, John,” she said. 

And with that, Farrin shut the door of the pod. Within seconds, John was feeling dizzy, then light as air, then he was asleep.

~*~  
The humid heat was the first thing John noticed. 

“Mr. Sheppard? Are you all right?” A woman’s voice asked. 

John shook his head, clearing out some fog. “Water, please?”

“Of course. Just one moment.” The girl walked through a door and a few seconds later came back out. She held out a water bottle which John took happily and gulped down half the ice cold liquid. It was painfully refreshing and John finally felt awake. 

“Must have gotten a little dehydrated,” John said. 

The woman’s worried look turned back into a smile. She was standing on the other side of a long wooden desk, John finally noticed, and she was wearing a uniform with a nametag. 

“So, you were saying you wanted information on the excursions we offer?” The woman asked.

“Uh, yes,” John said, trying to go with the flow. He remembered why he was here, but that felt like a distant dream now. This felt so real it was hard to believe it wasn’t reality. John tried to anchor himself in that knowledge though. The last thing Atlantis needed was to lose both John and Rodney. Atlantis was the closest thing to a home John ever had. At least home in that romantic way that people tend to use to describe it. John never understood that before. Not until Atlantis and… his team. They were his family and he wasn’t going to let them down. 

The woman was gathering some pamphlets that she laid out in front of him. It only then clicked that he was at a resort. More specifically a resort in Kahala, which he could only guess was in Hawaii. 

The girl was explaining the different trips. There was one pamphlet that gave an overview of each activity, and then a more detailed pamphlet for each activity. John nodded his head, pretending to listen. When she was done, he collected all the pamphlets. 

“Thank you, I’ll just take them all.”

“Of course. Go over them all with Mr. McKay and you can always just call down to let us know which ones you want to book,” she said with a smile. 

John’s mouth hung open a little. “Right,” he said, with a forced smile. 

So he was here with Rodney? In Rodney’s paradise, they were at some sort of resort together? Maybe on a mission. They’d talked about what they’d want to do on Earth if they couldn’t be on Atlantis for some reason or another. They sometimes talked about staying together as a team, doing some work for NASA or maybe the FBI or CIA or something. 

It would sort of make sense, John reasoned with himself. 

“Uh, do you know…” John started asking what his room number was, or maybe ask about Rodney’s, but wasn’t sure how to ask without raising any red flags. Then again, he wasn’t sure that would entirely matter, but he wanted to stay on the safe side just in case. “I lost my room key. Could you give me another?”

The girl smiled and obliged easily. She handed it over in the little paper envelope with the number written on it.

“Perfect. Thank you,” John said with a smile. He was pleased with himself for getting around that one. Hopefully by finding his own room, he’d be able to find Rodney somehow. 

It took him a little bit of wandering (he tried to look curious and not aimless), but he finally found the room. With his new card, he opened the door and stepped in, wondering what clues he might find. 

The room was beautiful. John’s eyes were immediately drawn to the balcony view of the ocean and mountains. There was a large bed, sheets in a tangled mess, and a large TV on the opposite wall. Also champagne bottles, chocolates, and rose petals. If John wasn’t a sane person, he might think this was a honeymoon suite. Maybe this was some sort of practical joke, John thought, just as he felt a cool weight on his ring finger. He looked down and saw a shiny gold ring.

So this was John’s honeymoon. Why on earth would that be what Rodney was dreaming about of any possible paradise? Suddenly a door opened, steam releasing into the air-conditioned bedroom. 

Rodney strolled out with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Oh, you’re back. Are any of the excursions worth trying? Nothing on a boat watching fish. Unless we get to drive the boat. That could be fun. Maybe something in town. But I don’t want to do too much walking. Definitely no hiking. You could go surfing though, I’d be happy to lie on the beach getting drunk, waiting for your return,” Rodney finished his tirade with a smirk.

John’s mouth hung open all the while. He practically hadn’t heard a word of Rodney’s speech because he was looking at McKay with a too-small towel around his waist, water droplets collecting and falling down his body. He seemed to be glowing, both from being soaked in sun and some aura of relaxation John had never seen on Rodney before. 

“What?” Rodney asked, smile falling away. “Do I have some ridiculous sunburn?” he asked self-consciously. “I knew we shouldn’t have fallen asleep out there.”

Rodney ran to the full-length mirror but couldn’t see anything. “Nope, still pale as a ghost,” John finally said, his voice a little scratchy. 

“Hey!” Rodney said, pointing a finger at John. “I would throw this towel at you, but you are far too covered in clothes for me to be fully naked. It’s not fair.”

John felt the heat turn his cheeks red. 

“Hey, you didn’t get me any snacks,” Rodney said, pouting. 

“Uh, sorry,” John said scratching his head. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Rodney sighed. Then he walked over to John and kissed him. It was quick and John couldn’t help but lean back in to steal just one more, to try and make it last. 

Rodney laughed. “You wanna go again already?”

“Uh…” John said before Rodney cut him off. 

“No more of this,” he said pointing to himself, “until you come back here with snacks!”

“I didn’t know what you wanted,” John said weakly.

“Fruit, jello, pudding, I don’t know. They had all sort of stuff at that dessert bar.”

“Okay,” John said nodding. Then he turned to leave. 

“Love you!” Rodney called from the bed where he was lazily flicking through TV stations. 

John couldn’t leave the room fast enough, practically running down the closest hallway and collapsing on the floor as soon as he was breathing salty, ocean air. 

He took a couple of heaving breaths then looked down at his hand with the ring. He grabbed the ring, practically ripping it off from his finger to inspect it. On the inside of the ring, there was an engraving. “Yours always, Rodney”.

John screwed his eyes shut and threw his head back hard into the wall he was leaning against. He took some deep breaths, trying to slow his heart rate. 

Paradise, Farrin had said. This was Rodney’s paradise. His paradise was being on a honeymoon with John? What an idiot. John was horrible at marriage, at relationships. And yet… it would seem Rodney might be in love with him. 

John began laughing hysterically until his eyes were filled with tears and he let out a small sob. Some sort of unbearable weight he hadn’t even noticed he’d been carrying was suddenly lifted. As if he’d never known what it was like to breathe before this moment. Like he’d gotten so used to shallow breaths, he’d forgotten what a real breath felt like. Deep and full and energizing. 

He put the ring back on his finger, really taking in how it looked on him. How it felt.

John got up finally, and began to walk through the resort. He had no idea what he was going to do when he got back to the room, but he knew he at least had to find this magical dessert bar first. 

It took John a while, but with some help he finally found the place, picked out a tonne of desserts which the staff helpfully packed up in to-go containers for him. 

Standing outside the room once again, John was overwhelmed and unsure of what he was feeling. He thought about the mission. Teyla and Ronon and Lorne waiting for him to return.

And yet, the sudden desire… the need to stay here, to live this with Rodney, was uncontrollable. 

John bit his lip. He still had time. He had to figure out how to tell Rodney first anyway. That could take some time. And he had to do it in a way so Rodney would believe him and want to go back. He’d worry about that later. He had time. 

He walked into the room and Rodney showered him with kisses upon seeing the selection of desserts. John still felt like he might combust just from proximity to Rodney, let alone the affection that was pouring out of the man. 

John was content with sitting on the bed, eating treats and watching some bad movie he couldn’t concentrate on anyway.

The movie ended and Rodney pulled John in for some lazy kisses, that grew more heated and John pulled back. 

This felt… wrong. It felt like cheating somehow, or like he was tricking Rodney. He wasn’t the John that Rodney married. Or thinks he married. If Rodney knew what was really going on, he might be mortified. And even if John wanted this… so badly, something inside just wouldn’t let him go through with it. 

“Um, there’s a cool trip this afternoon. We have to get ready if we want to go,” John said.

“Or… we could just stay in bed,” Rodney said with a smirk.

John smiled back, kissing Rodney again. “There’ll be lots of time for that.”

Rodney sighed. “Okay… what is it? How should I dress?”

“It’s a hike,” John smirked. 

Rodney glared back.

“A short one. There’s a cool volcanic crater really close by and we can hike up it. Apparently it’s an amazing view,” John said. Sure, this might be all fake but it was probably his only chance to really hang out in Hawaii and also keep Rodney distracted.

He briefly wondered if the details of something neither of them had seen in real life would be accurate or if his and Rodney’s brains would just make a weird simulated version of what to expect. It hurt John’s brain a little to dwell on the paradox for very long. 

Whatever the answer to his question, the view was still spectacular. The crater was massive and even Rodney enjoyed the detailed lesson about how it was formed, though he asked more question than the guide could answer. 

They found a safe spot on the rim, overlooking the whole island of Honolulu, eating some sandwiches John had swiped from another buffet on the way out. 

They talked and kissed as the sun descended in the sky, but had to leave before the sun fully set. They didn’t want to be hiking down in the dark. When they got back to the resort, they headed to their room to change out of their reasonable hiking clothes. 

“That was fun,” Rodney said as John swiped their key card and opened the door. 

John just smiled at him. “It’s like I know you or something,” he said dryly. 

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Just… thanks for making me go.”

John had the familiar feeling of wanting to kiss Rodney, then realized he didn’t actually have to stop himself like he usually did. It still felt odd to be the one initiating the contact though, like that made the fact he was lying to Rodney worse. He leaned in, to kiss Rodney on the cheek, then went toward his luggage to get a change of clothes.

Then arms were wrapped around him from behind and Rodney was placing kisses all over his neck and back, and his hands were under John’s shirt, running up and down John’s body. John had to stop himself from moaning at feel of Rodney’s hands roaming all over him. Something he would daydream about when Rodney went on an irrelevant tangent, articulated by those flailing hands. And now they were on John for real (well, real being relative), and everything in John’s body wanted to let this happen.

“Rodney, stop,” John breathed out, surprising even himself. 

“Why,” Rodney said between kisses. 

John turned around, holding Rodney at arm’s length.

“I’m starving. Aren’t you hungry? Let’s go get dinner,” John said. He tried to sound nonchalant, but the disappointment in Rodney’s face was hard to miss.

“Oh, yeah, I guess.” 

“Come on. I saw this place on my walk earlier that I want to go to.”

“Okay,” Rodney said in monotone. He was still watching John with a mix of suspicion and sadness. 

John leaned in and kissed Rodney, this time on the mouth and let Rodney kiss back and let their tongues mingle slowly. John bit Rodney’s lip gently before pulling away. 

“Later, okay?” John said quietly. 

Rodney just nodded and then finally went to his own luggage to get changed. 

They walked to the patio that John had seen, which was lit up wholly by tiki torches. They were given leis as they were taken to their seats, and saw others being served drinks in coconuts. John loved the whole aesthetic. 

By the end of the meal, John and Rodney were arguing, as they tended to do. Or rather they were lightly bickering. Debating theories was one of their favourite past times afterall. John was feeling light and happy until Rodney jumped in with a new topic. 

“Elon Musk isn’t the genius everyone thinks he is. He didn’t invent anything, just bought things from other people. And anyway, if nothing else, he thinks we’re all living in a simulation! He’s a complete idiot,” Rodney said, arms flailing with passion for the topic. 

John just gulped. Dinner was amazing, but now it sat heavy in his stomach. An uneasy feeling washed over him, and he felt his shoulders tensing involuntarily and uncomfortably. He needed to tell Rodney the truth, but John also wanted to enjoy this just a little bit longer. Then he thought of his team, back in the village. How much time had passed back in the real world? He didn’t know exactly how this worked, but if the process extended your life, there was a decent chance that time actually passed slower here. When would his team give up hope and pull the plugs? The thought gave him sudden inspiration to come clean. It had been a nice vacation, but now that he knew how Rodney felt, things back on Atlantis could be different… better. 

“Rodney,” John said, reaching his hand across the table to cover one of Rodney’s. “I have to tell you something.”

“What?” Rodney asked, sounding a little worried. 

John smiled, trying to reassure him. Then he wondered how Rodney would react to the truth, and thought a change of scenery would be nice. 

“Let’s go for a walk,” he suggested and immediately got up, tugging at Rodney to follow him. 

Rodney grumbled a little but followed John without further comment. He grasped one of John’s hands tightly with his own as they went toward the beach. The moon was bright, reflecting off the water and creating a beautiful blue glow everywhere.

They walked in silence for a while, John relishing the feeling of Rodney’s hand in his own. When they reached a small rock wall, John pulled Rodney over to it.

“Let’s sit.”

“You’re freaking me out,” Rodney said. 

John laughed. “Everything’s fine…” he said, though he’s not sure his tone was believable. 

“It’s our honeymoon,” Rodney said. “Things should be better than fine.”

John took a moment. “Except it’s not really _our_ honeymoon,” John said. 

He didn’t want to look at Rodney for this part, it would be too hard. “I don’t know how to say this. I’m not the John you came here with. This isn’t real, Rodney.”

Then he looked up, unable to help wanting to gauge Rodney’s reaction. His mouth was gaping slightly. John could practically see the wheels spinning. 

“When you went to get the excursion pamphlets. You came back and that’s when you started acting weird,” Rodney said.

John was surprised he was so easily convinced. “Yeah,” he breathed out in relief.

“Explain,” Rodney said. “More. Right now.” 

“Our home,” John said. “Our real home is Altantis. We left Earth with a one way ticket. We use the Stargate to travel to different planets, exploring and… well, getting into trouble.”

Rodney’s face scrunched up in consideration, then he put a hand to his forehead like John forcing these memories was painful.

“Are you okay?” John asked, putting a hand to Rodney’s head. 

“Yes,” he said. “I think so. Keep going.”

“Our most recent mission,” John said. 

“DX-196,” Rodney gasped. 

“Yes!” John said excitedly. “We went to DX-196 and found out they were sacrificing people –“

“To power their electrical grid,” Rodney cut in.

“Yeah,” John said smiling. Then frowned having to recall the next events. “When you found out what they were doing, they captured you and put you in one of their pods. It extends your life, but they create this whole world in your head so that you want to stay here…” John took a minute to let all that sink in. “Paradise. They said the pods create your paradise.”

John’s cheeks were starting to burn red. He felt a little silly, like Rodney would tell him that there was no way that could be true. How could John believe it was Rodney’s paradise if they were on their honeymoon when he showed up? Maybe it was some sort of practical joke world instead.

John waited for Rodney to say something, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

Rodney finally looked up at him. “Well, I guess this is probably a little embarrassing isn’t it?”

“So you believe me?” John asked, ignoring everything Rodney just implied. Admitted.

“Of course. Even if I didn’t remember everything now, which I think I do, I would always believe you.”

“Oh god, I tried to have sex with you,” Rodney said, looking slightly mortified. “I kissed you! Oh god, this is so embarrassing.”

John just laughed a little at that.

“Don’t laugh at me! Wait – I didn’t just kiss you. You kissed me too. You kissed me back! Were you just trying to play along? Either way, you can’t be that horrified by all this!” Rodney started spiralling.

“Rodney, stop!” John said, grabbing Rodney’s hands. “I kissed you back. And not to play along, but because I wanted to. And I didn’t tell you all this right away because I was selfish and I didn’t know if I’d ever get to kiss you again. And I wanted more, but it felt dishonest. I was lying to you about who I was. 

“But they told you,” Rodney said calmly. “This was the paradise my brain came up with.”

“I didn’t know if I believed that. I thought it could be some cruel prank,” John tried to explain.

“So you…” Rodney said, trailing off, pointing at himself. 

John rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Yes, Rodney.”

“God, you’re annoyingly honourable.”

John laughed something a little too close to a giggle. He was slightly giddy at having everything off his chest, and knowing that this really was what Rodney would have if he could.

Then John leaned in slowly, testing their boundaries now that Rodney knew the truth. Rodney stayed as still as possible, as if he was worried he could scare John away if he moved. Then their lips met and John could no longer hold back the hunger he felt for Rodney, knowing that Rodney wanted him as much as he wanted Rodney back. The force of the kiss knocked Rodney back and he barely stopped his head from hitting the rocky ground underneath them. 

They were lucky the beach was empty, though it didn’t really matter since none of this was actually real. Passion overtook them and John’s worries about the real world sunk to the back of his mind as his bare skin met Rodney’s. 

Eventually, they both collapsed, to the ground, breathing heavily. John sacrificing his shirt to clean them both up. Then he threw it to the side. Rodney turned to face him, placing an arm hesitantly on John’s chest. 

“So we have to go back, huh?” Rodney asked. 

“Yeah,” John sighed. “I feel bad enough about leaving the team to worry about us. Who knows how long it’s been in the real world.”

“Hmm,” Rodney breathed.

“What?” John asked.

Rodney didn’t speak for a while, apparently gathering his words, or maybe some courage. “When we get back, what will we do? You and me.”

The vulnerability in his voice was a side of Rodney that John seldom saw and it made his chest ache. “Well, I was hoping more of this,” he said.

Rodney curled into John tighter, hiding his face. “Okay,” he said, voice muffled in John’s ribs. “I think I could deal with that.”

John just grinned. “Good, me too.” Then, with a smirk he added, “But maybe we can hold off on marriage for a couple years.”

“I hate you,” Rodney groaned.

“I love you too,” John said, the words coming so naturally now. 

After a couple more minutes, Rodney finally sat up a little. “So what now? How do we get back?”

“Uh, well, Farrin said we just need to want to go back.”

“Okay,” Rodney said, eyebrows crinkling suspiciously. 

“Well… I didn’t exactly ask for step-by-step instructions,” John said defensively. 

Rodney sighed. “Of course you didn’t. Why would you bother asking for something as unimportant as to how to return to the real world and escape the life-sucking stasis pods?”

“Rodney,” John whined in that way he did, drawing out all the vowels.

“Fine, let’s try this,” Rodney said, sitting up fully.

John sat up with him. 

“Take my hands.” John put his hands in Rodney’s. Rodney’s eyes were closed, so John followed suit. 

“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home,” Rodney started and then John burst into laughter.

“You’re missing the red shoes, Dorothy,” John said.

“Well, what’s your idea, genius?” Rodney exclaimed. 

“Here, just… close your eyes and think about Atlantis. And the team,” John said, closing his eyes again. Squeezing Rodney’s hands tight, he kept going. “Teyla and Ronon and Lorne. They’re all waiting for us. And the bad coffee and the delicious Earth chocolate I know you have stashed in your room. And your lab, and Zelenka, and my weapons,” John said, but started to feel dizzy and tired. And soon, he fell asleep, which felt like nothingness, until he couldn’t breathe and he felt like he was drowning. Panic started to overtake him, but everything was still black. 

Then suddenly light poured in, and he was falling out of the stasis pod, some sort of liquid pouring out with him as he collapsed to the floor. 

Teyla’s voice was the first thing he heard. “John!” 

Her hands wrapped around him, helping him stand. John looked around until he finally found Rodney, being helped up by Ronon. 

Their eyes met briefly but then they both quickly focused on the current situation. 

“Where’s Farrin?” John asked. 

“Holding cell,” said Ronon. 

“He tried a few too many tricks,” Teyla offered.

“How long have I been in there?” John asked, fearing the answer. 

Teyla took a beat before answering. “Three days.”

“Shit,” John said. “It wasn’t even a whole day in there.”

“We thought that might be the case,” Teyla said. “I wasn’t going to let them pull the plug.”

“Thank you,” John said to Teyla, hoping he was conveying with his gaze just how deeply grateful he really was for her patience. 

John and Rodney dried off and two members of Lorne’s team brought Farrin back to the room. 

Farrin looked shocked to see John and Rodney standing there. 

“But how… no one would ever leave paradise,” he said incredulously. “You,” he said, turning to Teyla. “Why were you so confident that they would be back?”

Teyla smiled at John. “Because it was Rodney’s paradise. And I knew John would be a part of it and would have no problem convincing Rodney to leave.”

John just raised an eyebrow at her and smirked. Leave it to Teyla to know more them then John or Rodney did themselves. 

Farrin didn’t seem to understand, but John wasn’t about to explain. “We’re destroying your pods,” he explained. 

“You can’t!” Farrin exclaimed. “How will we survive without power?”

“We’re going to teach you how to install solar panels,” Rodney said bitterly. “No human sacrifice needed.”

John and Rodney helped ensure the pods could never be used again, then went back to Atlantis to let a new team install and teach about the solar panels. John would be happy to never return to DX-196. 

John went straight for a hot shower in his room when they got back to Atlantis. His muscles ached in strange places and he had bruises around some injection points the pods must use to keep people alive. But nothing life-threatening.

He was pulling a shirt over his head as his bedroom door slid open. 

Rodney stood in the doorway. “Sorry, I should have knocked.”

“There’s a reason you’re the only person other than me who can open that door,” John said, unbothered by the interruption. He pulled on some socks as Rodney still stood in the doorway. 

“Are you gonna come in?” he asked.

“Um, I was just gonna see if you were hungry actually,” Rodney said. “We could go get food.”

John walked over to him, sensing all of Rodney’s insecurities and wanting to obliterate them. John was too tired to worry if things would be awkward and different and how they would navigate this new relationship. He was tired of resisting the urge to wrap his arms around Rodney every damn time he saw him. 

So he walked up to Rodney and did just that, pulling Rodney by the waist further into the room so the door could close with a soft _woosh_. And then John kissed Rodney easily, a little sloppy and lazy, tongues meeting in the middle. And Rodney gripped him back with desperation but let John guide their kiss slow and easy. 

“Yeah, I’m hungry,” John said as he leaned back. “Let’s go get some food and then come right back here.”

Rodney just nodded, mouth glistening wet, and John wasn't hungry for food, but he had a feeling there were a lot of nights ahead that could hopefully sate him.

**Author's Note:**

> I still love this ship so much! I hope y'all enjoy reading as much as I liked writing this little idea!


End file.
